If you are in the NYC area, Columbia University has come out with their new fertility workshop schedule for Fall 2012/Spring 2013. I literally squealed when I checked the mail.
There is one that I'd really like to go to on January 16th: Understanding Ovarian Reserve
Hop on over to their website and see if there's anything that interests you. It's free and it's Columbia - they have some of the best fertility doctors around.
Best of luck!
http://columbiafertility.org/resources/PFEW0812_0213.pdf
Lilypie Pregnancy Event tickers
Friday, August 17, 2012
BFN!
So, for those of you not down with the TTC (trying to conceive) lingo, BFP means big fat positive... you can deduce what BFN means.
Let me start by saying, I knew in the back of my head that there was no way I was pregnant. However, a few things happened and got me started... my aunt dreamt fish (I know it's superstitious, but hey...), my boobs got tender and full again and I started cramping, I was nauseous for the better part of the week and my mid-section feels full. Now, I knew with about 99.999% certainty that it was not a pregnancy, but most likely my body just being its silly old self.
Against my better judgment, I boughta pregnancy test four pregnancy tests. They were on sale. Buy two, get two half off. I'm not sure what I need with more tests than I have eggs, but I love a bargain. After my husband picked me up from school, I asked him to take me to the pharmacy. My daughter asked if she could come in with me, but I didn't need her all up in my business, so I told her I would get her a surprise if she stayed in the car. I was in and out of the store in less than 5 minutes, with a huge ball in hand to distract her.
My husband knew right away. He said "you bought a test, didn't you". In my entire relationship with this man, I have probably only bought 2 pregnancy tests, so I'm not sure how he guessed it right away. I 'fessed up and told him that before I start school I want to be absolutely certain and then told him of my symptoms.
With that, he dropped me at home and I took the test.
I knew. I knew it was a no. And I told him this much because he was jittery and hopeful and I didn't want him to think we had a chance. And, in the end, after two minutes, I had one line... one LONELY line. I held the test at several different angles and it was still one line. I left it for an extra minute and tried to pretend I needed to dust the shelf in the bathroom... but still... one... line.
I'm not sure why I did it to myself. And now I've got 3 more tests taunting me that I know I will probably never have any use for.
So, I guess that is my sign. I am meant to start law school. There is no turning back, now. A part of me still feels like I am supposed to be a mom again, but I guess it's just not meant to be...
Let me start by saying, I knew in the back of my head that there was no way I was pregnant. However, a few things happened and got me started... my aunt dreamt fish (I know it's superstitious, but hey...), my boobs got tender and full again and I started cramping, I was nauseous for the better part of the week and my mid-section feels full. Now, I knew with about 99.999% certainty that it was not a pregnancy, but most likely my body just being its silly old self.
Against my better judgment, I bought
My husband knew right away. He said "you bought a test, didn't you". In my entire relationship with this man, I have probably only bought 2 pregnancy tests, so I'm not sure how he guessed it right away. I 'fessed up and told him that before I start school I want to be absolutely certain and then told him of my symptoms.
With that, he dropped me at home and I took the test.
I knew. I knew it was a no. And I told him this much because he was jittery and hopeful and I didn't want him to think we had a chance. And, in the end, after two minutes, I had one line... one LONELY line. I held the test at several different angles and it was still one line. I left it for an extra minute and tried to pretend I needed to dust the shelf in the bathroom... but still... one... line.
I'm not sure why I did it to myself. And now I've got 3 more tests taunting me that I know I will probably never have any use for.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Just saw the ticker at the top of my page...
And it says we've been TTC for 11 months. I can't say that we've actually been TTC for 11 months because we actually are at the point where we are not timing, measuring, tracking nor going to appointments for anything. At some point, I hope to get back on the wagon - I'm not sure it'll happen while I'm in law school, which will be the next 4 years. Once I'm done with law school, I've got a feeling that the last thing on my mind will be having a baby.
I'm starting to feel like our ship may have REALLY sailed and I'm not sure if I'm okay with that. Going to law school every night is a constant reminder that I am infertile because the original plan was that I would go to law school ONLY if I didn't get pregnant. Every single school night, I'm made to remember "you are here because you are not pregnant" because had I gotten pregnant, I wouldn't have even thought to pursue this dream.
Law school has been good for me. It's a great outlet, it's extremely interesting and I'm meeting tons of great people. However, with all that being said, I'd much rather have a ticker that says "your baby is now 2 months old"...
I'm starting to feel like our ship may have REALLY sailed and I'm not sure if I'm okay with that. Going to law school every night is a constant reminder that I am infertile because the original plan was that I would go to law school ONLY if I didn't get pregnant. Every single school night, I'm made to remember "you are here because you are not pregnant" because had I gotten pregnant, I wouldn't have even thought to pursue this dream.
Law school has been good for me. It's a great outlet, it's extremely interesting and I'm meeting tons of great people. However, with all that being said, I'd much rather have a ticker that says "your baby is now 2 months old"...
How does a hot flash feel?
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Dear body...
What have I ever done to you to make you hate me so? Yes, I know I've eaten at McDonald's more times than I should admit. I know I stayed up way later than any person ever should - on several occasions. I know I've been saying I am going to replace those shoes with the worn out soles - but I just love them so much and they're so stinking cute! I probably should also exercise more... and by more, I mean that I should exercise. Sometimes I forget my vitamins. I drink wine at lunch time (hey, spend a day at my job and you'll drink at lunch, too). However, I am your friend! Please be mine!
If you're wondering what's eating my grape, I have been having horrendous cramps on and off all day long. When I was a teen, I absolutely hated cramps. They were the bane of my existence, but they served a purpose. There is absolutely NO REASON for me to have cramps right now! At all. I know my body did not consult me on this one, but had it, I would have said "I'm okay with cramps if there's something to be crampy about!"
The cycle last week was a normal cycle (I'm still celebrating in my head). But, having another one right after this is pretty much unheard of - women with POF do not have regular, unassisted cycles. So, really, what is the point of having a crampy/throbby abdomen?
On a more joyful note, I contacted the nurse at NIH to see if a decision has been made about the fall study. Fingers crossed... I would REALLY love the opportunity to go there and get this POF thing sorted for once and for all. I've only heard good things about the study.
If you're wondering what's eating my grape, I have been having horrendous cramps on and off all day long. When I was a teen, I absolutely hated cramps. They were the bane of my existence, but they served a purpose. There is absolutely NO REASON for me to have cramps right now! At all. I know my body did not consult me on this one, but had it, I would have said "I'm okay with cramps if there's something to be crampy about!"
The cycle last week was a normal cycle (I'm still celebrating in my head). But, having another one right after this is pretty much unheard of - women with POF do not have regular, unassisted cycles. So, really, what is the point of having a crampy/throbby abdomen?
On a more joyful note, I contacted the nurse at NIH to see if a decision has been made about the fall study. Fingers crossed... I would REALLY love the opportunity to go there and get this POF thing sorted for once and for all. I've only heard good things about the study.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)