So hard to say goodbye...

After my last post, I'd gone under the radar for a bit. Part of it was the end of the first semester of law school, which brought with it a ton of "to-do" items. The other part of it was being in super-aunt planning stealth mode! I was awaiting the arrival of my youngest sister's baby. The baby was due on 1/4/13 and I put in my bid for 12/21 so that baby and I could be birthday buddies.

On my birthday, my sister and I both took the day off and we were traipsing around the city. We had errands to run, but my sister was also feeling huge and heavy and wanted to "walk the baby out"! I even joked about giving my sister pitocin cookies to get things started.

Three days later, things were carrying on as normal. My sister had her annual Xmas eve party and baby was the center of all the jokes that imagined my sister in the hospital on Xmas day. My sister continued to insist that she thought the baby would come on the 4th of Jan.

On Xmas day, we awoke, went to my mom's house and opened gifts per the norm. My sister remarked that the baby, "Boo" as she was affectionately called, was active the night before. She felt a weird jolt and asked me to feel her stomach. When I felt her stomach, she felt a snapping sensation and rushed to the bathroom! "My water broke!" I couldn't believe my ears... the baby was coming on Xmas.

Excitement, anticipation, you name it and the air was thick with every emotion. My husband packed up the car and my sister and I went to grab a couple of last minute things from her house.

We phoned her husband and told him to make his way to the hospital PRONTO - he was off visiting family in a different part of the city.

The next hour is a blur... we checked in... the nurses told me I had to wait in the waiting room while they checked my sister (sure, pretty typical... no worries)... I waited and made small talk with the other visitors... then the nurse came and got me...

"Well, you can go ahead and sit with your sister. We were trying to find the baby's heartbeat and we couldn't, so the doctor is going to come in and check..."

Crafty baby! Turn around... stop hiding! It's Xmas... come and get your birthday song!

As I walked into the makeshift tent, I tried to forget what the nurse had just said. INCREDIBLE... I don't believe you! Get a doctor in here... he's going to find the baby's heartbeat.

Then the doctor came....

And I saw...

right on the screen... I saw a little spine... and I saw a heart... and I believe I saw chambers, but don't quote me... and it was still... quiet... peaceful.

And I squeezed my sisters hand. And the nurse started crying... she looked to my sister and I. And we looked at each other in disbelief. We came to have a baby! Where is our baby!!!??? What's next?

On December 26, 2012 at 11:52am, my sister delivered the most beautiful baby girl I have ever laid eyes on. Boo! She had the warmest, sweetest-smelling skin... and her lips were RUBY RED! Xmas baby with red lips. I never knew a heart-break like the one I knew that day.

My sister.... strongest woman on earth, in my estimation. In the midst of the curve-ball life had thrown at her, she turned to me and said... "go ahead... pick her up!"

Thank you for sharing your baby with me! I was so honored. She could have taken all of those moments to herself since she knew exactly how finite they were... but she shared Boo with me. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

The most beautiful little soul... she embodied everything that is perfect in this world. She brought to mind a Roberta Flack song....

The first time ever I saw your face I thought the sun rose in your eyes And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave To the dark and the empty skies, my love  

To the dark and the empty skies

 *Missing Boo more and more every day... born sleeping on 12/26/2012*