A lot has changed in two months. For one, I fired my old RE. I didn't fire him because he didn't tell me what I wanted to hear, I fired him because anyone who says "I shouldn't be telling you this over the phone" while he delivers a message in such a callous way, needs to be fired. I fired him because he essentially told me my body is a piece of crap and not worth fighting to fix. I fired him because he told me I could never have another biological child and I know it's not true.
I don't know how to explain it. I call it a feeling, but it's a bit more than that. I KNOW that I don't feel done yet and I can't tell you why. I just don't. So, now I have a new clinic that believes in the miracle of TTC with high FSH and I am happy with that. In addition, I'm starting acupuncture and I believe it will be beneficial if for nothing else than to calm me down. I'm on edge these days.
Things are not the same as they were. Was there an insulating calmness in not knowing why my body didn't do what it was supposed to do every month? Yes. But knowing what the problem is and working with specialists to get answers is exactly what I needed to be doing. So, because these past two months have been tumultuous, defeating and eye-opening, I'm glad they are behind me. Onward and upward!
Thank you for inspiring positive thoughts and sharing your journey here. I just stumbled upon your blog after an annoying and confusing afternoon at the fertility clinic. This is very new to me still and felt slightly lost and a wee bit deflated, but only for the moment.
ReplyDeleteI've only skimmed through for now, but will start at the beginning to get up to speed.
Congrats on your pumpkin, it's just so wonderful.
By the way, my clinic is in New York. Are you familiar with New Hope Clinic?
light and love,
Yvette
Yvette.marin@gmail.com